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Aditi Goud

9 months ago

Today at 6 in the morning I decided to go against my daily mood of laziness so I got up from my bed, brushed my teeth, Washed my face with the cold water splash. //I could still hear your voice from our yesterday's voice call. "Aditi" you said in the exact tone that depicts the reluctance of letting go but a self control of hiding it.// I patted my face dry. Tied my hairs in a bun. Wore the most cozy sweatshirt that I stole from Bhai and sneaked out of the house in my pyjamas. It was my second day of terrible pain of period cramps yet I needed a break. //A break from the feeling of this constant loneliness inspite of having so much people around me; a break from the loop of your voices that were running in my head; break from the rejection of my heart for accepting the truth that was right infront of me.... I won't be able to meet you for a long time now.// I walked out from the colony to the highway, passing past the Shani temple. There's no Sunshine today. //Just like the fog on my way that blurs the buildings around, the liquid in my eyes was blurring my vision even more. Yeah... My heart's weeping out through my eyes after a really long time.// The morning today was silent than the usual ones. There's no bird on the trees to chirp. There's no cloud in the sky to give me company. I'm all by myself, my head and the thoughts. Well, lately I asked for writing suggestions on my Insta story. Guess what was the most common response? 58 people asked me to write something about long distance relationship. Funny , isn't it? How could I ever write on that? When I can't even cope up with something like it in my real life. //"Maybe it's the distance thing that we are thinking we couldn't work because we weren't habitual of it" was your response when I asked why we don't work anymore. Distances! Well yes, maybe distances can make me feel much more vulnerable than you alone could do. Maybe, it can take away the chance from me to hug you tight enough that We both gasp for breaths in the end at the times of need. Maybe I couldn't be angry and get calm all at once when I look in those eyes full of love. But there's this one thing that distances can't change. It's the fact that more distances just makes me dream about you more. To think about you more. To miss you more and to fall in love with you more, with each passing moment.// All of these thoughts made me walk far enough that now I was standing at the very place where we used to spend our time together. Where you hummed a song for me standing right beside me for the very first time. "Saari ki saari meri hai tu ,tujhko kabhi na me bantu....To... Sun mere hamsafar, kya tujhe itni si bhi khabar...." All those beautiful memories of the late evenings played their own respective slideshows in my head. And now my lips were smiling while my eyes were crying. I took my cellphone out, and typed a text in it on your name. - " I wished everyday to hold you once more. It was always you that made me dance in my dreams. You are the fountain of good fortune for me. If I could just stay with you forever, I would. If I could I'd hand you out my beating heart on a platter. " //My insanity for you was on it's peak. You know I'm damn stubborn when it comes to you but I just stopped showing it in front of you.// *A deep exhale* I pressed back on my cellphone. And started stepping towards the place where I live. I won't call it my home. Because...... you know why!. -Aditi Goud #creatorshala #blog #blogger #content #caption #read #reading #reader #blogging #art #artist #home #writer #travel #photography #winter #writing #author #poetry #story #storyteller #love #morning

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