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To me, if you'll ask, If I'm okay I'll nod my head aside hiding my tears beneath I'll just roll my eyes. "I'm fine" would be a constant reply and to none I'm ever gonna rely, I'll be honest to thee, but I waited for a call from thy; You see it's hard for me to choose a side between mine and you And if it's you there, I already lost me. I was an empath maybe I still am, but I'm gonna cage that me away; for each person I meet is an apath, even you turned out to be one of them you broke my walls and ... Honey I thought you did it for me, but you did it for yourself just to find a place as cozy as my heart so you could stay for a while and whenever the "forever" would knock you'll too just run away. So tonight I'm gonna drag you out with my own hands, you'll be barefoot and all astounded to see me as a devil that you thought never existed. But My Darling, you're the only one who told me we all keep monsters within. -Aditi Goud #creatorshala #blog #poetry #poem #aditigoud #lifestyle #literature #english #writer #writing #blogging #blogger #typerwriter #photography

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Riya Das

1 year ago

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Aditi Goud

1 year ago

Today at 6 in the morning I decided to go against my daily mood of laziness so I got up from my bed, brushed my teeth, Washed my face with the cold water splash. //I could still hear your voice from our yesterday's voice call. "Aditi" you said in the exact tone that depicts the reluctance of letting go but a self control of hiding it.// I patted my face dry. Tied my hairs in a bun. Wore the most cozy sweatshirt that I stole from Bhai and sneaked out of the house in my pyjamas. It was my second day of terrible pain of period cramps yet I needed a break. //A break from the feeling of this constant loneliness inspite of having so much people around me; a break from the loop of your voices that were running in my head; break from the rejection of my heart for accepting the truth that was right infront of me.... I won't be able to meet you for a long time now.// I walked out from the colony to the highway, passing past the Shani temple. There's no Sunshine today. //Just like the fog on my way that blurs the buildings around, the liquid in my eyes was blurring my vision even more. Yeah... My heart's weeping out through my eyes after a really long time.// The morning today was silent than the usual ones. There's no bird on the trees to chirp. There's no cloud in the sky to give me company. I'm all by myself, my head and the thoughts. Well, lately I asked for writing suggestions on my Insta story. Guess what was the most common response? 58 people asked me to write something about long distance relationship. Funny , isn't it? How could I ever write on that? When I can't even cope up with something like it in my real life. //"Maybe it's the distance thing that we are thinking we couldn't work because we weren't habitual of it" was your response when I asked why we don't work anymore. Distances! Well yes, maybe distances can make me feel much more vulnerable than you alone could do. Maybe, it can take away the chance from me to hug you tight enough that We both gasp for breaths in the end at the times of need. Maybe I couldn't be angry and get calm all at once when I look in those eyes full of love. But there's this one thing that distances can't change. It's the fact that more distances just makes me dream about you more. To think about you more. To miss you more and to fall in love with you more, with each passing moment.// All of these thoughts made me walk far enough that now I was standing at the very place where we used to spend our time together. Where you hummed a song for me standing right beside me for the very first time. "Saari ki saari meri hai tu ,tujhko kabhi na me bantu....To... Sun mere hamsafar, kya tujhe itni si bhi khabar...." All those beautiful memories of the late evenings played their own respective slideshows in my head. And now my lips were smiling while my eyes were crying. I took my cellphone out, and typed a text in it on your name. - " I wished everyday to hold you once more. It was always you that made me dance in my dreams. You are the fountain of good fortune for me. If I could just stay with you forever, I would. If I could I'd hand you out my beating heart on a platter. " //My insanity for you was on it's peak. You know I'm damn stubborn when it comes to you but I just stopped showing it in front of you.// *A deep exhale* I pressed back on my cellphone. And started stepping towards the place where I live. I won't call it my home. Because...... you know why!. -Aditi Goud #creatorshala #blog #blogger #content #caption #read #reading #reader #blogging #art #artist #home #writer #travel #photography #winter #writing #author #poetry #story #storyteller #love #morning

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I don’t want to be a part of your life. I don’t want to be a part of you. I don’t want to be your random texts or your last-minute plans. Please, don’t bother texting or calling me just because I crossed your mind all of a sudden. I am not your random Tuesday coffee plans or Saturday date nights. You said you want to see where things go first and that’s last when I heard from you until a few days back. So, where have you been? I hardly want to believe you. Did you mean the things which you said to me months ago or were you just bored? I am not even surprised. I know that’s how you are; telling the lies about how sweet you are and how you got stumbled on, we both do know the real you. We both know the two-sided face of yours. Stop making me guess about how you feel, stop with your games already. I don’t want a part of you if I can’t have all of you. I don’t want anything. I would rather keep my distance away from you than being even friends with you. I don’t want you to stick around me anymore. I do wish you happiness, I wish for your well-being and for a better future. But I am a little too high headed and full of self-respect for myself, I know when I am being treated as an option and when people actually care about me. But, sorry I don’t want to be on your” option list “ anymore, I am taking myself out of it. Please stop expecting me to give all of you if you can’t give the same to me. You never deserved a person like me, who is full of life and passion. You didn’t even deserve my friendship in the first place. Now, I don’t want to give even a part of me to you. I hope we never meet again. I hope our paths don’t cross again. Goodbye. #motivation #pinterest #2020 #creatorshala #blog #blogging #travel #books #music #song #photography #fashion #influencer #lifestyle

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